We have been looking at the regrettable decisions people made when they encountered Jesus. Imagine if you had the opportunity to hear Jesus teach. What would you think? Imagine if you had the chance to see Jesus perform a miracle. What would you have done? But I want you to imagine a slightly different opportunity. Imagine if you had been called by Jesus to follow him and had been following him for about three years. Imagine if you were one of the twelve disciples, the inner circle of followers that Jesus had called to be with him. Not only did you see what Jesus did publicly, but you also participated in the private discussions that happened during those three years. But then imagine if you catastrophically failed Jesus. What if you sinned so badly that you thought you could no longer be a disciple? For our final lesson in this series we are going to focus on one of the disciples named Judas. Please open your copies of God’s word to Matthew 26-27 and we are going to spend our time looking at the regrettable decision Judas made.
The Context (Matthew 26)
In Matthew 26 we are reading about the last couple days in Jesus’ earthly life. In Matthew 26:14-16 we see that Judas goes to the chief priests, who the some of the religious leaders at the time in Jerusalem, and asks them what they will give him if he hands Jesus over to them. When you read the gospel accounts you will see a building tension between Jesus and the religious leaders. This tension grows to strongly that the religious leaders start looking for ways to kill Jesus. But they cannot simply kill him and they have the problem the crowds who love him. Judas knows that the leaders want to arrest him and kill him. So he asks them what it is worth to them if he hands him over to them. They offer Judas thirty pieces of silver and from that point Judas looks for an opportunity to betray Jesus. As the disciples prepare for the Passover, Jesus gathers his disciples around the meal and tells them that one of them is going to betray him (Matthew 26:21). Each of the disciples ask, “Is it I, Lord?” (Matthew 26:22). You can imagine everyone going around the table asking this question. In verse 25, Judas also asks the question, “Is it I, rabbi?” Jesus tells him that it is. Judas goes out at this point to carry out the betrayal. Jesus institutes his memorial supper with the remaining eleven disciples and then they head out to the Mount of Olives. In verse 47 we see Judas coming with a great crowd who are carrying swords and clubs in the middle of the night. Judas walks up to Jesus and gives him a kiss on the cheek (a kiss of friend) which was a sign to the crowd to arrest him. I wonder if what Jesus said to Judas at this moment stuck in his mind. “Friend, do what you came to do” (Matthew 26:50). Judas’ betrayal plan is accomplished.
The Crisis (Matthew 27:3-10)
But now look at what happens within Judas in Matthew 27:3. We read in verse 3 that Judas, when he saw that Jesus was condemned, changed his mind. He was filled with regret. He was full of remorse. Judas is overwhelmed with guilt. Notice that Judas is not just filled with regret. He does not merely change his mind. Judas tries to fix what he did. In verse 3 we read that Judas returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders. Judas changes his mind and gives the money back. Not only this, Judas confesses his sin. Look at verse 4. Judas confesses, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” Judas is trying to fix what he did. He trying to change the outcome. Judas is overwhelmed by guilt. He returns the money. He confesses his sin. But look at what this does in verse 4. Nothing. The chief priests and elders respond, “What is that to us?” In other words, “We do not care. That is your problem, not ours.” In verse 5 we read that Judas threw the pieces of silver into the temple. Then he went away and hanged himself.
Thinking About Judas
Let’s spend a few minutes considering what just happened. How did this disciple end up killing himself? Why did he do this? Why did he think that this was the only solution? I want us to consider that the underlying problem with what happens within Judas that leads to this outcome is relying on self. Consider what Judas does. Judas is trying to fix what he did and rightly so. He is rightly trying to undo this sin. So he has in his mind he can fix this. So what is the problem? The problem is what happens when you cannot fix it. Friends, there are a lot of things that we do in life that we cannot fix. There are so many things that we say and do that do not have an “undo” button. There is no way to press rewind and start over. You see that if we can fix it, then we allow ourselves to no longer carry the guilt. But if we cannot fix what we have done, then the guilt remains. In fact, the guilt can become overwhelming, which it seems is what Judas experiences. Since we cannot fix this, the guilt remains heavy on us, and therefore, we believe we cannot be forgiven. Our despair arises because we live in the hopelessness of unfixable sins. So we feel guilt, regret, and emptiness because there is nothing we can do.
Now I have an important question to ask right now. Do you think that Jesus would have forgiven Judas if, rather than going out and killing himself, he went and spoke to Jesus? Do you think that Judas could have been forgiven of this betrayal, even though there was nothing he could do to fix what he did, if he had gone to the cross instead of the tree to hang himself? The answer is definitely yes. If you are unsure about this answer, just move your eyes up the text in your Bibles and you will see in Matthew 26:69-75 that at this time Peter is also committing a sin that could not be fixed. Peter denies Jesus three times and there was nothing he could do to fix that sin. But Jesus restores Peter in John 21. Judas is consumed by guilt, confesses his sin, and tries to fix what he did. But he cannot undo his sin. Rather than believing that the Lord Jesus would forgive him for what he did, he believes what he did was unforgivable. His sorrow and regret consume him.
True Repentance
Listen to how the apostle Paul contrasts what can happen when we are grieved by our sins.
As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:9-10 ESV)
Notice the contrast. Worldly grief produces death. Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret. Please underline that phrase. A repentance leading to salvation without regret. How can we have a repentance that has an outcome of salvation without regret?
First, we must acknowledge there is godly grief. There is a grief that God intends for us to have. Notice even in 2 Corinthians 7:8 that Paul said that he did not regret grieving these Christians with his letter. There is such a thing as good grief and good regret. There is such a thing as good guilt. God gave us a conscience and he wants our consciences to be pricked. He wants us to have soft hearts to sin so that he can cut our hearts with his word. Our goal is not to immediately suppress the guilt and regret we feel. Rather, Paul is telling us that this sorrow is to produce a repentance that brings salvation without regret.
Second, the only way to have a repentance that leads to repentance without regret is to believe that we can be forgiven. Let me state this important point more precisely. We have to believe that we can be forgiven of the sins we have committed that we cannot fix. We might allow that we can be forgiven of the sins that we can correct. We may be able to assuage our guilt when we fix what we have done wrong. But do we believe that we can be forgiven by God for the sins we have committed that cannot be fixed? Here is one of the real problems. Serious sins that cause a lot of damage are usually the sins we cannot fix. There are no quick fixes to destroyed marriages. There are no fixes to adultery. There are so many sins that we cannot fix. Does this mean that God cannot forgive us for what we have done? Was the apostle John lying in 1 John 1:9 when he said that the Lord is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness? God has promised to fully cleanse his people of their sins.
Third, if we believe that God is able and willing to forgive any of our sins, even the ones we cannot fix, then we must go to him seeking that forgiveness. There are two terrible temptations that happen even after we are convicted of our sins and we realize that our God is able to forgive us. One temptation is to try to hide our sins. We try to hide from God. We see Adam and Eve do this in the garden after they ate the fruit of the tree that they were commanded not to eat. But rather than running to the Lord, they run away from the Lord. They hide. This leads to an interaction that is to cause us to think about what we are doing. God asks, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9). As if God does not know where his creation is. But this is to get us to think about something. Why are you running from God? Why are you hiding from him? Do you think he does not see your sins? Do you think that he does not know what you have done? Running from God does not make any sense. But we are tempted to run and we sometimes do try to run. Do not try to hide your sins. Second, do not try to deny your sins. Our sins are our fault. Adam and Eve both cast blame away from themselves. But we made the decision to do what we did. We made the decision to say what we said. There is no one to blame but ourselves.
Why is this so important? Friends, if we do not admit our sins but rather try to hide them or try to deny them then our sorrow is leading to death. Why does this lead to death? These actions lead to death because we can never be forgiven. We cannot be forgiven when we are hiding our sins or denying our sins. Our guilt and grief are to produce a renewal within us. See 2 Corinthians 7:11 how their godly grief produced eagerness, indignation, fear, longing, zeal, and readiness for justice. We are not going to deny our sins. We are going to confess our sins. We are not going to try hide our sins. We are going to admit our sins. We are going to admit to God that we have failed and are in need of forgiveness. This is the heart that God is looking for. God is not looking for hearts that are trying to save themselves by trying to fix their sins. God is looking for hearts that understand that they cannot fix their sins and they need Jesus to forgive them and save them from their sins.
Do not be consumed by your sins and the guilt you feel because you cannot fix what you have done. Judas’ sorrow and regret led to death because he did not run to Jesus. Instead, he ran away from Jesus. Judas ran to the wrong tree. Guilt tells us that God does not forgive, does not forget, and I am still accountable for my sins. But we must let the scriptures teach us about the grace of God. Listen to the hopeful words of the prophet Micah:
Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. (Micah 7:18-19 ESV)
Let your guilt and sorrow cause you to run to Jesus, seeking forgiveness. Do not let your guilt cause you to run from Jesus. There is no one like this God who delights in steadfast love and faithful. He will have compassion on you. Your sins are forgiven. Leave your guilt at the cross. Go forward with a renewed hope and a changed life to seek and love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.